The Present

Passion kept one fully in the present,
so that time became a series of mutually exclusive 'nows.'

-Sue Halpern

I find myself struggling to stay in the present. My mind is always focusing on something else, something that is coming, something that needs to be done, something that happened in the past. Yet I feel like some of my favorite moments have been those fleeting "mutually exclusive nows."

I know that feeling like I am on top of what I need to have done helps me to keep my focus on the now, but I also feel like I am never ever going to be caught up, and never ever completely living in the present. If I stay this way I will soon be longing for the past, longing for the moments that I just wasn't completely there, moments that my children and I missed out on. This time I have with them is so short, I don't want to wake up one morning and see an adult and wonder where I was, asking myself where has the time gone and what have I done with it? And once again, the problem would come back to not living in the present.

I don't have answers, but it really helps to put my thoughts down somewhere.

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